1. A laundry detergent that makes your clothes turn perfectly black.
2. Buy a politician and have them campaign to legalize Graham crackers in North Dakota.
3. Name your new dog after your current boyfriend.
4. Take a picture of the Apollo 11 shuttle and transpose the words "Space Racist" over the top.
5. Break into someone's car and then leave a bunch of really good CDs, some cash, and a cute dog inside.